Okay, like I know I'm the only one who cares about this.

[xp_wildchild]

https://lithub.com/apparently-the-brontes-all-died-so-early-because-they-spent-their-lives-drinking-graveyard-water/

But the fact that all the Brontes basically grew up drinking corpse water explains SO FUCKING MUCH.

This message brought to you by a really fucking tired Kyle who has a three week gig teaching gig for a 10th grade lit class and I'm 4 days in and I want to die I'm going to throw myself out the window

ima disrupt the lesson plans and talk about how Wuthering Heights is the way it is because Emily Bronte was drinking corpse water.

Comments

[xp_daredevil]

that's amazing. and terrifying.

and honestly explains so much about Charles Darwin, too.

[xp_wildchild]

I mean lots of stuff about the past explains a LOT About some writers.

Except Lovecraft, that dude was just racist.

[xp_daredevil]

Lovecraft had a lot of problems. himself being the first one

[xp_wildchild]

yup

but like imagine me saying yup where I say it more like yuh uh uh uh uh up

[xp_darcy]

mm, peak gothic.

you aren't teaching that shitty f scott fitzgerald novel, are you? if it's on the list just skip it.

[xp_wildchild]

Gatsby? Oh fuck no. I'm in a UNION, Darcy. They let us strike for shit like that.

(I mean no they don't but I wish they would, but thank fuck no, I don't have to teach that for this gig)

[xp_darcy]

good, i have a whole "in this essay i will" about why that novel is G A R B A G E. also some insults about hemingway, even if he's marginally better than f scott.

[xp_wildchild]

ooooooooooooooogh

okay like

look I don't hate Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls is so vivid and messy skillfully written and and and it's just a goddamn brutal novel, I should not have read it in the hospital that was a bad idea (young kyle didn't make good reading decisions) and like, the CIA or FBI I forget really -was- lurking and making him feel stalked and fuck THAT shit

but like I am also kinda glad that there's some options for lit class assignments for high school than 'read this exerpt from The Sun Also Rises'

[xp_darcy]

i don't haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate hemingway but there are so many other exceptional writers from that time (and he has better works than the old man and the sea and the sun also rises).

[xp_loa]

Kyle, the English were just like that, drinking their dirty corpse water. Would you truly talk of the disenfranchised like that?

[xp_wildchild]

I mean I'm just saying it explains a lot about their writing. I'd probably write a lot of boring depressing shit if I was drinking corpsetea too.

... actually okay, the corpse bits are steeping in the water, but it's not leaves, so is it tea? Is it more like corpse coffee? Corpse... kool-aid?

[xp_loa]

I don’t know if there’s actually a cause and effect there, but maybe?

Why does this make me think of LaCroix? Flavor of overfilled graveyard, with a hint of dysentery?

[xp_wildchild]

That's it, that's what they had. LaCroirpse

[xp_cypher]

It's only a corpse if it's from the Cor P'Se region.

Otherwise it's just sparkling dead body.

[xp_wildchild]

I don't get it

[xp_darcy]

i can't believe you made me see this with my own eyes

[xp_colossus]

Can I interest you in Russian lit? It, too, is long and depressing.

[xp_wildchild]

oh my god my dude, you missed me having a semester during grad school where I took a Russian Lit class and hot DAMN I have never been so mopey in my life and if I never see "Nobel Prize Winner Ivan Bunin" again in my life it will be TOO SOON

[xp_jubilee]

Someone had to drink the corpse water.

[xp_phoenix]

In my medical opinion...yep. Drinking corpse water is very bad.