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xp_wildchildSo, like back from Montana and visiting my parents and getting Christmas loot. My grandmom made me a whole roast beef just for me. It was GREAT. Anyway. Watched a ton of football with my dad, which was cool.
(okay, first note, my professors really hate when I title papers like that) (okay, second note, why the hell do Marius and Monet laugh their asses off at me whenever I talk about rooting for a team? What the balls, dudes.)
Anyways. So, as most of you guys probably know by now, I'm from Montana. And in the Midwest, the NFL is like, super serious business, even if you don't have a team in your state. So, being from Montana and all, you pretty much have three options: the Green Bay Packers, the Minnesota Vikings, and the Detroit Lions.
So, like, the Packers are okay. They were coached by the dude who the championship trophy is named for back in the day and all. But, I gotta say, no way in hell am I putting anything that looks like a piece of cheese on my head. Just no. Uh-uh. Ain't gonna happen.
Okay, so next is the Minnesota Vikings. First off, if you're gonna be a team from the north, don't sissy out and play in a dome. That shit's for, like, the Colts. I mean, don't get me wrong, Peyton Manning's pretty good and all, but still. And then there's Brett Favre. Which is apparently pronounced "fahrv", I don't even know. But, so, he was like the man back when he used to play for the Packers, but now it's like "I'm gonna retire", and then a couple months later, he's all "psych!" And y'know, whatever, if you can still play, but he's done it like THREE OR FOUR GODDAMN TIMES. And people fall for it every time! Dude, just quit being such a drama llama attention whore.
And then there's that whole crap with him sending pictures of his junk to Jenn whatsherface. I mean, first off, dude is married. Uncool. Second, all I know about Jenn whatsherface is that she's like, famous for being hot or whatever. And she got fake boobs to get her career going, and then she had them removed now that she's like in the big time. And she went to Florida State. Okay, that's more than a little I know. I might have used the google. Shut up.
So anyways, she's like a sideline reporter, and pretty much ALL sideline reporters are there for is to be hot. And ask really goddamn stupid questions to the coach when they're going into the locker room. Like, "hurr durr what're you gonna do in the second half, coach?" Seriously, the only sideline reporter who knows anything about football is Suzy Kolber. And she's pretty much graduated from sideline reporter at this point, I think, because she actually knows shit.
Okay, and I was asking my dad about Suzy Kolber one time, and he made that grunt. You know, the "if it weren't for your mom I would totally bang her" grunt. And DUDE I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT MY DAD OKAY.
Anyways, totally off track. So, I mean, if you're not gonna root for the Packers or the Vikings, that leaves the Lions. I mean, maybe you could get away with the Steelers, but they're way out in Pittsburgh. Plus, they've got this quarterback whose last name is Roethlisberger, but whenever I see him on TV, I read it like those cat pictures. ROFLburger. I think I've been hanging around Angel or Ramsey too long.
So, the Lions. Now the Lions have pretty universally always sucked. But that's okay, because they're my dad's team. And...okay, maybe I don't actually have much reason for rooting for the Lions other than they're my dad's team, and I don't like the Packers or Vikings enough. But dude, you better stop bagging on the Lions or I'm not letting you come over to watch football in my suite anymore, Espinosa.
Just sayin.
(okay, first note, my professors really hate when I title papers like that) (okay, second note, why the hell do Marius and Monet laugh their asses off at me whenever I talk about rooting for a team? What the balls, dudes.)
Anyways. So, as most of you guys probably know by now, I'm from Montana. And in the Midwest, the NFL is like, super serious business, even if you don't have a team in your state. So, being from Montana and all, you pretty much have three options: the Green Bay Packers, the Minnesota Vikings, and the Detroit Lions.
So, like, the Packers are okay. They were coached by the dude who the championship trophy is named for back in the day and all. But, I gotta say, no way in hell am I putting anything that looks like a piece of cheese on my head. Just no. Uh-uh. Ain't gonna happen.
Okay, so next is the Minnesota Vikings. First off, if you're gonna be a team from the north, don't sissy out and play in a dome. That shit's for, like, the Colts. I mean, don't get me wrong, Peyton Manning's pretty good and all, but still. And then there's Brett Favre. Which is apparently pronounced "fahrv", I don't even know. But, so, he was like the man back when he used to play for the Packers, but now it's like "I'm gonna retire", and then a couple months later, he's all "psych!" And y'know, whatever, if you can still play, but he's done it like THREE OR FOUR GODDAMN TIMES. And people fall for it every time! Dude, just quit being such a drama llama attention whore.
And then there's that whole crap with him sending pictures of his junk to Jenn whatsherface. I mean, first off, dude is married. Uncool. Second, all I know about Jenn whatsherface is that she's like, famous for being hot or whatever. And she got fake boobs to get her career going, and then she had them removed now that she's like in the big time. And she went to Florida State. Okay, that's more than a little I know. I might have used the google. Shut up.
So anyways, she's like a sideline reporter, and pretty much ALL sideline reporters are there for is to be hot. And ask really goddamn stupid questions to the coach when they're going into the locker room. Like, "hurr durr what're you gonna do in the second half, coach?" Seriously, the only sideline reporter who knows anything about football is Suzy Kolber. And she's pretty much graduated from sideline reporter at this point, I think, because she actually knows shit.
Okay, and I was asking my dad about Suzy Kolber one time, and he made that grunt. You know, the "if it weren't for your mom I would totally bang her" grunt. And DUDE I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT MY DAD OKAY.
Anyways, totally off track. So, I mean, if you're not gonna root for the Packers or the Vikings, that leaves the Lions. I mean, maybe you could get away with the Steelers, but they're way out in Pittsburgh. Plus, they've got this quarterback whose last name is Roethlisberger, but whenever I see him on TV, I read it like those cat pictures. ROFLburger. I think I've been hanging around Angel or Ramsey too long.
So, the Lions. Now the Lions have pretty universally always sucked. But that's okay, because they're my dad's team. And...okay, maybe I don't actually have much reason for rooting for the Lions other than they're my dad's team, and I don't like the Packers or Vikings enough. But dude, you better stop bagging on the Lions or I'm not letting you come over to watch football in my suite anymore, Espinosa.
Just sayin.
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no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 06:04 am (UTC)Now, give me a sport like darts, or archery or running, that I understand.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 06:06 am (UTC)The only one of those that's a sport is running.
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Date: 2010-12-29 06:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-12-31 08:49 pm (UTC)