I GET IT. OKAY. FINE. WE ARE DOING THIS.

[xp_wildchild]

Guys. GUYS I get it, I like WWE and I'm a lit nerd. I GET IT.

LITERALLY SEVEN OF YOU have texted this to me.

...eight

NINE In the time it took me to write this entire post.

fucking fine, I'm setting up a Royal Rumble and some like, Versus Matches in the Danger Room. I am signing you people up.

jesus look at this thing it's ridiculous

Matt, it's basically a drawing of Stone Cold Steve Austin, so bald goatee'd wrestler dude, but as Jane Austin, so he's in a fancy yellow pink ruffled dress and a little sun bonnet and he has a purse and a little delicate green parasol and green heeled shoes.

Comments

[xp_wildchild]

I am signing up people for this. You CAN say no but if you say no, then I am showing up, sitting on your couch with WWE videos -and- a copy of Sense and Sensibility and you'll learn IN DETAIL why this is fuckin' hilarious.

[xp_daredevil]

Jane Austin is bad ass

[xp_darcy]

I didn't send it but dibs on commentary table.

[xp_wildchild]

Doug sent it to me so I'm like, assuming you were there looking and laughing. You can have commentary table. Do you want entrance music? I want entrance music. ima get myself entrance music.

[xp_darcy]

...guilty :D

yes, give me entrance music, stage names, whatever, go full 90s wrestling hype without the shitty parts

[xp_wildchild]

So like for a sec there I thought you said "without the shitty pants" and I was gonna be like "Aw MAN I just ordered some black wrestling pants."

and then I realized it said parts, and yeah. Lets not do the 90's steroids or like, post concussion syndrome or like, the gross sexism and racism and homophobia.

[xp_darcy]

pants are tools of the oppressor, but wrestling pants are hilarious. that said, i wouldn't discourage people from keeping their t&a some level of contained lest they become an easy target for opponents. an athletic cup would probably also be wise.

[xp_cypher]

I apologize for nothing.

I gotta go figure out my music.

[xp_echo]

Does that mean you’ll be wrestling in a dress?

[xp_wildchild]

Uh, no.

[xp_echo]

Lame! Fine, I’ll join and wrestle in a dress. Pretty sure I could find some kind of empire waisted one somewhere.

[xp_wildchild]

They don't make like, 19th century era (idk what it is? Regency? Fashion people help) dresses for six foot five tall guys.

[xp_echo]

We have fashion people.

[xp_hawkeye]

She's right. There are fashion people. I'm sure if you ask Fi, she could find you a Regency (?) dress in your size in no time. She's like that. She made me look human. Or well, made her people make me look human. While giving me coffee, espresso, chocolate, and wine. It was impressive I will volunteer as tribute any time she needs somebody to like. idk. Do that again. Seriously, they even brought somebody in to give me a mani/pedi and it was like walking on clouds for like a week.

[xp_hawkeye]

I'm in.

For people keeping track of stuff:

1. I gotta make a call, but I'm doing this thing in costume.
2. I got intro music, I'll hand it off to whoever.
3. This is gonna be fucking hilarious.
4. Team Go-Go Engineering isn't going anywhere near any sort of power-related shit this month.

[xp_wildchild]

Nah, Maya's gonna, she asked me if she legit could, and so I can't copy her gimmick.

[xp_wildchild]

SHOES are tools of the oppressor. Pants are how none of you have to see my hairy ass.

[xp_wildchild]

You're in because I signed you up because you sent me that thing TWICE.

[xp_hawkeye]

I mean, you're not wrong.

I had to make sure you got it got it. Just in case no one else had sent it to you.

[xp_hawkeye]

Nobody's gonna copy my gimmick. Cause nobody but my bio brother knows my gimmick but me.

[xp_darcy]

it is a nice ass though. not that your usual basketball shorts do much to hide that.

you're correct about shoes but i also don't want my bare feet to touch the questionable substances on the subway.