Kyle Gibney (
xp_wildchild) wrote2022-05-05 08:19 am
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Okay, like I know I'm the only one who cares about this.
https://lithub.com/apparently-the-brontes-all-died-so-early-because-they-spent-their-lives-drinking-graveyard-water/
But the fact that all the Brontes basically grew up drinking corpse water explains SO FUCKING MUCH.
This message brought to you by a really fucking tired Kyle who has a three week gig teaching gig for a 10th grade lit class and I'm 4 days in and I want to die I'm going to throw myself out the window
ima disrupt the lesson plans and talk about how Wuthering Heights is the way it is because Emily Bronte was drinking corpse water.
But the fact that all the Brontes basically grew up drinking corpse water explains SO FUCKING MUCH.
This message brought to you by a really fucking tired Kyle who has a three week gig teaching gig for a 10th grade lit class and I'm 4 days in and I want to die I'm going to throw myself out the window
ima disrupt the lesson plans and talk about how Wuthering Heights is the way it is because Emily Bronte was drinking corpse water.
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and honestly explains so much about Charles Darwin, too.
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you aren't teaching that shitty f scott fitzgerald novel, are you? if it's on the list just skip it.
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Except Lovecraft, that dude was just racist.
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(I mean no they don't but I wish they would, but thank fuck no, I don't have to teach that for this gig)
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... actually okay, the corpse bits are steeping in the water, but it's not leaves, so is it tea? Is it more like corpse coffee? Corpse... kool-aid?
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but like imagine me saying yup where I say it more like yuh uh uh uh uh up
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Why does this make me think of LaCroix? Flavor of overfilled graveyard, with a hint of dysentery?
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okay like
look I don't hate Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls is so vivid and messy skillfully written and and and it's just a goddamn brutal novel, I should not have read it in the hospital that was a bad idea (young kyle didn't make good reading decisions) and like, the CIA or FBI I forget really -was- lurking and making him feel stalked and fuck THAT shit
but like I am also kinda glad that there's some options for lit class assignments for high school than 'read this exerpt from The Sun Also Rises'
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Otherwise it's just sparkling dead body.
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'tbelieve you made me see this with my own eyesno subject
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