King of all wild things.

Act III, Scene II, March XV, MMXXVI

2026-03-15T17:33:54Z

Yeah, yeah I'm a nerd for Shakeaspeare, shutup. You get two today

First of all ima remind everyone if you've got a southern accent and want me to buy you a burger or a beer, I pay for soliloquies in accents. I mean shit it doesn't need to be a southern accent, but Shakespeare in relatable modern accents does make it easier for people to digest. (I have this co worker at the DX school who has this straight up Jersey Shore accent and I bought him like six slices to do Act five, scene five from Macbeth (the tomorrow and tomorrow one, you know it) and fuck it hit hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76rnSADaekY - anyway this one is in Southern. It's pretty great.

And this one is in slang you gen x kids use which is gen z which is just silly to write but it's also great in a really funny way - https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxPHgUGPPPB/

I mean "I'm not here to clap back at Brutus, who we all know is dank" just - like, Terry thought i was dying this morning because I could not fucking stop laughing

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Friendsgiving

2025-11-13T03:53:56Z

A'ight, we're gonna do this and we're calling it Friendsgiving and if you wanna put in complaints I'll make a turkey-shaped complaints box you can write an essay about the fucked history of the holiday and then enjoy good food and the joys of everyone's presence like totally guilt-free.

It will not be an artistic box.

As like, usual, there will be turkey. There will probably be a lot of turkey, because it's turkey season.

Please sign up for sides. There's a legit real sign up sheet taped to the fridge, but I will accept it signups up in the form of text messages or comments here. If you can't cook won't cook idgaf show up anyway I like throwing food parties.

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Huh, hometown made a foodie list

2025-03-25T23:49:55Z

https://www.foodandwine.com/travel/best-food-cities

Huh, like - my dad called to tell me (I mean okay there's OTHER Stuff we talked about) (Ter Dad says if your dad or uncle won't he will) he saw some food magazine in the doctor's office and home's on the list for good foodie cities

which is just so fucking weird guys

but also "heirloom blue corn tortillas filled with seven-hour-braised prime chuck roast"

lbr I want to eat 11 of that

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ACTIVITIES!

2024-10-04T16:36:22Z

Happy Friday everyone!

A bunch of us (me, Haller, Arthur, like, everyone) have been working up some activities for everyone before we all go throw ourselves at horror movies and trick or treating.

So tomorrow (okay like maaaybe tonight, this afternoon if we're really ambitious) there'll be some DR activities, an obstacle course, a three legged race, egg races - you know, Field Day Stuff for any of you who went to a real high school or have watched every high school musical movie

(shutup I did, I also watched all those Disney Zombie movies, I also eat doritos even though they make my stomach hate me I contain multitudes of bad taste)

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Yeah yeah Iknow it's summer break

2024-08-01T01:53:49Z

https://www.tiktok.com/@mandziy/video/7397966567138528530?_r=1&_t=8oUo3zClj8V

Shakespeare is better in a Southern Accent. Or by a cowboy.

Sam, ... actually all Guthries and Rogue, I will legit buy you burgers if you will help me do some recordings of monologues so I can convince kids Shakespeare is not lame.

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Midnight egg hunt!

2024-04-01T03:09:12Z

So like last year, there's 8 dozen eggs (actually 8 dozen this time, not Kyle can't math 8 dozen) hiding on the lawn. They have paper slips, you can turn those in for - you know, pony bottles of alcohol if you're 21 or over, ethically sourced chocolate if you do that kind of thing, shrimp if you're Liam or Sharon...

Unlike last year, I was at my dad's until just now so we're doing a midnight egg hunt. I got glow in the dark eggs.

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xp_wildchild @ 2024-03-25T22:36:00

2024-03-26T05:37:45Z

Topaz, how do your holidays work, because like

I thought I put it on the calendar right but yo, distinct lack of attack color powder clouds. Is this like easter where it moves the fuck around and I did the math wrong?

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Instragram cross post

2024-02-15T16:55:26Z

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ow and other shit

2023-12-23T05:43:34Z

1st floor kitchecn is fucked

Liam, Star, pretend I didn't just say shit AND fuck here, or pretend I'm not your teacher for the rest of the winter break.

fire is out, smoke damage all the fuck in, I am taking a shower, putting on clothes that don't smell like smoke and then gonna go start pulling stuff out of the walk in to move to people's suites.

Ya'll, open your doors I need your freezer or ALL This food goes bad - the kitchen has no power right now. I need volunteers, it's a walk-in freezer. Doug you're voluntold once you have pants.

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Delegation! My therapist says it's healthy.

2023-10-01T19:21:11Z

So it turns out that trying to do like

all the big maintenance tasks for the mansion that can be done by one dude
and be an X-Man and do hand to hand for like three people (sorry Maya you're moving to Gar and Logan's class consider it a graduation present, your present is bruises)
and learn to fly a plane
and teach 30 hours a week
and therapy and volunteer work
and Danger Room scenario making
and Gen-X training
and chickens (Alani sorry about the text spam but Brooster Banner is TOO GOOD OF AN IDEA TO IGNORE)

is kinda a lot for one dude, um, in my defense I didn't realize how much I was doing until my therapist made me do a sleep chart. I kinda wasn't.

you know sleeping - I wasn't.

Anywayway like. I need some volunteers so I don't voluntold people for mansion stuff - groundskeeping, getting to ride the big riding mower (we can't delegate that one to a paid groundskeeper, because of the grounds security, we legit have to have someone from here who knows why there's graffiti on the walls that can't get removed), some student teaching...

mostly Gen X stuff, because the last time we had new people here it was me and Angel and Keller and now it's me, and I need help because I am drowning

and drowning Kyle is an asshole

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My ice cream is missing

2023-09-26T23:35:49Z

My ice cream is very missing. I want one of those police helicoptesr or viral facebook posts, it left, it's probably joining a commune in District X with that one dude who makes his own ice cream.

or the other one that also makes her own? IDK. How do we have two ice cream carts in the DX but not a reliable dry cleaner.

Anyway, okay, it's gelato and it's missing and *I KNOW WHO TOOK IT* and just this once I'll let it go but only because you didn't take the mango one.

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No I really did go to the farm, it's not a metaphor

2023-07-29T05:26:51Z

I'm literally writing this in an uber, so like.

Okay that's a lie I wrote most of this on the plane, I'm editing it in the uber.

Couple of weeks ago I lost my temper on the journals. I am not doing okay. Not because I lost my temper - well, not just because I lost it but I guess that is part of it.

I've been at short ends for months. Anyone who has been in the Danger Room with me has seen it. I think if I tried to explain why it would take up a lot of space here. I also don't think I want to explain why.

I just want to apologize for losing my temper. I let down people who trusted me not to fly off the handle or say some extremely stupid things that made this place feel unsafe.

I have talked to people I trust about what happened. You know who you are. I'm doing too much for one guy and I am going to take a breather from some of it. Not quit - I promised not quitting, but setting limits and making sure I am not the only guy doing all the things I was trying to do. Even once I get better mental health.

No amount of editing is going to make this any better so I'm posting it imperfectly. I've already edited it enough times that this uber driver is getting a pretty big tip because we are siting outside Kirby's and I asked him to wait a couple minutes. He's a good dude.

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I guess it's National Donut Day?

2023-06-02T18:51:39Z

So my dudes, the counts and countesses and countexs at Count Donutula's just told me it's national donut day, and I've got 5 boxes.

Four are totally normal, one is a box of the count's special. All awful, all the time.

so 48 totally normal donuts, 1 box of Free But Mystery Donuts. Be brave!

I totally do not recommend the sour plum one, wicked awful. IDK what Alison says. it's gross af and incorrect.

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EGGS.

2023-04-09T18:47:32Z

Yo, I was bored, so there's like IDK, 7 dozen paper mache eggs hidden around the grounds. Mostly the lawn, and the pool and the garage.

Some of them have paper strips you can like, turn those into me for those little airport bottles of alcohol. Or candy if you're not 21, I don't wanna get arrested or a lecture.

The rest have like candy and stuff.

96 is 7 dozen right? it's 96 eggs.

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well

2023-03-21T23:40:55Z

good news my ankles stopped itching
bad news they are molting feathers
its super gross
also i am sick
how is everyone else not sick
like sneezing chills sinus stuff my nose is gross
and i found the floor
it's a good floor
i like this floor
but i float every time I sneeze or cough or fart

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EXPLAIN PLEASE.

2022-11-26T18:41:58Z

Can someone NOT RAMSEY explain to my why he keeps air-dropping this to my phone

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I GET IT. OKAY. FINE. WE ARE DOING THIS.

2022-09-17T20:46:10Z

Guys. GUYS I get it, I like WWE and I'm a lit nerd. I GET IT.

LITERALLY SEVEN OF YOU have texted this to me.

...eight

NINE In the time it took me to write this entire post.

fucking fine, I'm setting up a Royal Rumble and some like, Versus Matches in the Danger Room. I am signing you people up.

jesus look at this thing it's ridiculous

Matt, it's basically a drawing of Stone Cold Steve Austin, so bald goatee'd wrestler dude, but as Jane Austin, so he's in a fancy yellow pink ruffled dress and a little sun bonnet and he has a purse and a little delicate green parasol and green heeled shoes.

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Ai'ght, dinner's outside.

2022-08-29T23:54:12Z

A'ight, so I (okay not JUST ME) have setup the grills. You know the drills - green for our veggo friends, red for kosher/halal meats (Sooraya I got your text), blue for allergies (text me peeps if you got them) and black for everything else.

Bring me your meats and vegetables and weird grilled fruits. I gotta plan, I gotta team of foodies and I got 3 coolers of ice and drinks.

Also like a cooler of ice cream and popsicles cause I guess you guys all evac'd your freezers? Who brought me the mango ice cream? It's fucking amazing.

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my dudes

2022-08-25T20:49:22Z

How do I install games from this?

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1666500/Write_n_Fight/

guys I NEED to have Shakespeare beat the shit out of Lovecraft. I NEED IT.

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Okay, but like, why

2022-08-23T18:15:50Z

https://twitter.com/mattxiv/status/1560332420607516674?s=21&t=SyNy9xTylciLt7lRl-5gGQ

I mean it's a link from Twitter, so it's weird but like

like WHY

PYOTR WHY. NATASHA WHY. I ASK BECAUSE THIS IS 100% YOUR PEOPLE.

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knock knock

2022-05-12T04:49:40Z

knock knock

(look one of my students told me a stupid joke today and I gotta pass it on it's like that old movie with the haunted VCR tape)

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Okay, like I know I'm the only one who cares about this.

2022-05-05T15:22:02Z

https://lithub.com/apparently-the-brontes-all-died-so-early-because-they-spent-their-lives-drinking-graveyard-water/

But the fact that all the Brontes basically grew up drinking corpse water explains SO FUCKING MUCH.

This message brought to you by a really fucking tired Kyle who has a three week gig teaching gig for a 10th grade lit class and I'm 4 days in and I want to die I'm going to throw myself out the window

ima disrupt the lesson plans and talk about how Wuthering Heights is the way it is because Emily Bronte was drinking corpse water.

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Man I'm tired

2022-04-02T05:57:07Z

On my feet all damn day, but the kiddos at the DX Rec Center got a bunch of art and craft stuff on, and Junes got like a few signups for X Coast Swing and MOSTLY we didn't have to deal with too much of people being complete assholes cause security did it's job

I wanna sleeeeeeeep there was so much noise holy shit I forgot how loud Junes dance group is

tired tired tired

also idk who bought the rolls that were like cinnamon rolls spiraled? but instead of cinnamon they had guava and cream cheese but those fucking ruled somebody tell me so I can buy 9004 more

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fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

2022-01-28T19:05:30Z

We're up to like what, idek, 9 inches of snow and it's still falling.

Look we've got 4 snowblowers and about a dozen shovels. Folks, if you want to be able to leave anytime in the next three days without falling up to your ass in snow - come out here and start shoveling.

If someone gets the patio shoveled, we can grill burgers. It'll be fun.

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Literature jokes.

2021-10-30T18:51:29Z

Yeah I'm just gonna ascend to my final form as totally dorky Literature teacher I laughed about this for like ten minutes

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