xp_wildchild: (Beard - paperwork)
alright I am like, between paperworks and editing papers and trying to source like, safety regs for labs that are written in English not in OSHA MAGIC SPEAK (Clinto I hate you, hire a real safety expert, not "well Kyle and Darcy can handle it") (or pay me more) (pay Darcy more too) (hell lets give everyone a raise)


Top Five lists! Here's how this works for people who I haven't been like TOP FIVE GAME GO in the car with

People throw top five lists, I answer them, they answer them, other people answer them, if we go past 5 lists, someone else starts a new post so my email doesn't choke.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - ridic)
Because man this is what I do when I'm bored af doing paperwork for Clinto.

Guys. At what point in the broken taco process does a taco become NACHOS.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - happy)
(1/2) Oh mols that is such a bad BAD BAD pun oh my god
(2/2) otoh this is so much steak you are the best thank you


Jan. 10th, 2017 08:32 pm
xp_wildchild: (Beard - normal)

Hulu is streaming Golden Girls which means, like, you can watch it on your phone or whatever. Like, in the bubble bath or hanging out in the garage or up in a tree.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - pointing)
Dr Kyle says you're all excused from whatever you had to do this morning cause I can hear all ya'll screaming.

Man PUNCH anyone who says baseball is boring.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - skeptical)
So guys the pumpkin thing has been, well it kept me up last night, cause I found two in Shamu's catbed and man I REMEMBER reading Bunnicula and I don't need my cat getting bit by a vampire rabbit and anyway.

So uh, Amanda, Topaz, have you guys checked the pumpkins for undeadliness? Because I'm not saying, I'm just saying, that there's apparently this Romani legend about vampire squash. For serious, it was even in a comic.

Digger - it's pretty good, it's about wombats and dead gods. We have two copies in the library, and I've got a copy here to borrow.



seriously I can't find any smells on the pumpkins and how did they get into my cat's bed? How did they get into people's showers? I'm not kidding I want these checked out before we pie-ize them so we don't all turn into vampire squash minions.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - ridic)
I gotta stop randomly flipping through youtube videos.


anyone know if my ex girlfriend started a cooking channel because jesus it's like if Dori got herself hopped up on sugar and decided to bake a crazy space cake.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - did you hit your head)
WTF is a Met Gala and why is it like all over bookface and tweeter?
xp_wildchild: (Beard - cautious)
Day 45, no land in sight. Captain considering eating the crew, but I talked him out of it. Considering talking him into sailing home and ..

fuck no I can't make this funny. Okay how the hell does anyone like, both get the fuck over a breakup you didn't see coming and not be a shitlord and want to set UCLA on fire or all of LA or California in general.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - beer)
Man you'd tihnk I'd know better by now by geez these are good

Wanda you can have the rest even if you didn't say it 5 times cause otherwise ima boot up my pineapple


Jul. 23rd, 2015 10:25 am
xp_wildchild: (Beard - normal)
No really. This is like important.

Donald Trump is a sentient dried apricot.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - normal)
Does anyone have a how to guide on how to convert a VW Bug into a sofa? Because somebody totally left me one while I was out and it's all in the living room and shit and I figure turning it into a sofa's easier than me and Arthur hauling it out.
xp_wildchild: (Beard - thoughtful)
Stuck bored enough in the airport before like 25 hours of plane and shoes (no 'rice I don't need a 'port. If I'm gonna waste Marius' dumb money on first class upgrades ima enjoy the free beers) that I actually like bothered to charge my tablet and reset all my passwords and shit.

(hey I'm an unemployed bum I can swear around teenagers now)

Still an unemployed bum but like a month of sunburns and drinking Marius' weird Australian beer took most of the edge off that. Who needs their phd papers edited? I am kick ass at editing.

Should be back sometime around tomorrow or Tuesday unless any of my 47 connecting flights get delayed (okay it's TWO) or I decide that Hawai'i looks awesome and I stay there. Probably not gonna do that one because I still can't surf and I hate poi.

(seriously poi's gross)

I didn't get anyone a koala or a drop bear. There should be about 15 boxes of crap from moving my dad somewhere hopefully my room that I had shipped because what I need is like every fucking terrible mix tape I made when I was 13. If they're not in my room could somebody like, txt me so I can ask my dad for the tracking numbers that I totally lost while I was sleeping off a hangover in ... Melbourne? Sydney? Someplace in Australia. We were in a lot of places.

a'ight, so

Jan. 22nd, 2015 10:17 am
xp_wildchild: (I can see in the dark)
A'ight, so I finally sacked up and called my dad. Who had some unkind things to say about how I haven't called him in like three weeks. Mostly unkind things about how he wanted to know how I got all the shit out of my hair from having my head up my ass.

So you know, he's still being my dad.

So he sold the house. (WTF it like for real sold for kind of a decent amount of money too) and he's moving to New Jersey in a month because he says he doesn't trust that I won't get my head stuck back up there again and he wants to be close enough to drive down and fix that for me.

Also I guess there's like a construction company that wants him to idk, inspect shit for them. IDK, he says he's looking forward to not having to do actual construction because he's old now. Dude is not that old, he's like Wade's age, but okay, he does have bad knees and bad shoulders and his hand's all effed up from that one time with the nail gun. I COME BY IT HONESTLY OKAY

So ima go help him move, and then he's gonna go help mom's folks move to one of those we're old but still active communities (NOT in Jersey, thank god, jesus, because what I want is my Gramma driving up here to hit me with a spoon) in like, Florida or something (for seriously It's like Kissimmee FLorida or something - jesus my grandparents are like, grandparent stereotypes) and Ima go like, be a loaf on Marius' dime for two or three weeks.

in Febtober. Not like now. In like three weeks.

Basically you know that bucket of 'my mom died so take some time off' time I didn't take off? I'm taking it in February and March.
xp_wildchild: (Eat ALL the things.)
Okay okay okay I was going to text Wade and Dori and Angel about this and then I realized my text list was getting ridic.

People. We are going to get this.

It is a cheeseburger stuffed donut

Like I KNOW this is totally bad for me and probably gross and I will probably hate myself after because I'll get the epic poots but it's a fricking cheeseburger stuffed donut, and I need it.

So. Anyone who can fit into the station wagon, or if I can borrow someone's minivan or something, we are totally driving to Philly and getting this. SIGN UPS START NOW.
xp_wildchild: (a lot of hair)
Guys guys guys guys the blond (I almost typo'd blind and that'd be Matt who isn't blond or in some really terribad movies) dude who was on the island kind of being all I! Helped! Rescue! People! But! I! Talk! Like! This! (at least that is totes how he sounded to me) is THIS GUY

Arthur "Longshot" Centino

Who was totally in a movie called Teethmonster 2, which implies there was a Teethmonster ONE and now I gotta watch both.

xp_wildchild: (myspace shot at the beach)
So that was damp. Now that we're all back and hopefully all done getting antibiotics injected into our meaty parts or whatever -btw- honestly I totes prefer the injection because I don't wanna take the pills the size of my first thumb joint for a week. Also btws, I know I have a healing factor but I guess sometimes they wanna make sure just in case.

Or else our docs like giving people big thumb sized pills or shots. Could be that.

Wow I am so totally off my topic. C--, Gibney.

There is a mostly ceremonial gross ass t-shirt burning party on the yard, with a bonfire. Which is NOT full of t-shirts because I guess since they came in contact with pathogens and dead people and injured people we can't for real burn them, so we're burning them in effigy. There's totally t-shirts and pants and jackets cut out of construction paper.

ALSO there are burgers, hot dogs, and grilled mushrooms on the grill. Which is redundant to call them grilled mushrooms if they're on the grill I guess, and if someone would bring skewers I will make kabobs too because I kind of want to eat cubes of meat on wooden skewers tonight.
xp_wildchild: (Outdoors. Grinning.)
So like, first of all, Netflix's new original series "Sizzlin' Bacon" is the best 20 minutes I've ever spent doing nothing but watching bacon. Second, then I really wanted some bacon and... uh,

Ladies*, how long did this take? Because this is pretty complete and you got the walk-in and the pantry AND most of the stuff in the big fridge.

* I totes know who did this but that's because all of you have pretty distinctive smells. Not gonna rat you out, but someone bringing me a BLT to say thank you for not ratting you would would be nice.

Edit: The BBLT was pretty awesome, girls. I dunno who found the balsamic vinaigrette to put on the grilled beet, but that's a nice touch, and it was epic once I piled about a pound of fresh sliced venison on it.
xp_wildchild: (super bummed out)
Man, I totally waited in line for like half an hour and Donutulas was out of burger donuts. Guys, guys it wasn't like a Luther Burger, it was like - like like a Monte Cristo only instead of french toast and ham it's a donut and a burger patty, only they ran out.

I was totes mellow about the line and now my mellow is SERIOUSLY harshed.
xp_wildchild: (Eat ALL the things.)
Anyway - you all need to do this too because dude, a challenge must go answered or something. and Okay, yeah, I kind watched High Fidelity about 8 times this week while grading.

5. Meatloaf with crispy onion straws on like really good brown bread. Doesn't need anything else but mushrooms are okay on it and so is cheese, I like really sharp cheddar or swiss is okay too.

4. Smashed meatballs in marinara. Smash 'em up, spread the marinara on garlic toast, throw some mozzarella on that.

3. Leftover turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes and cranberry - not the jello kind, the kind with the pieces of fruit in it on leftover rolls.

2. That pork thing at DeliCATessen, with the shredded bbq pork and the side of mac and cheese and the pork falls out the roll and you mix it in the mac and cheese or you can dip the roll in the cheese from the mac and chese.

1. Fresh super rare venison on french bread, with au jus - which is french for hell yeah this is delicious. This is my favorite.

Okay NOW EVERYONE ELSE DOES THIS because I can't watch this movie anymore times and I have at least one more class of grading to do.
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